Wednesday, December 7, 2011

My team goes crazy in emails about reporting time off in a new Google calendar

Here's another day in the office. Everything is fine until one person takes off the "being professional" mask and all hell breaks out. I just had to join in the fun and add my 2 cents (and a zombie apocalypse reference)


Hey guys,

I'm not sure what happened to our google "Time Off" calendar, but it got all kinds of messed up. So, I had to delete it and start a new one. It is attached to each of your Gmail accounts. If you could put in any time you will be away from the office for the foreseeable future, that would be great.

Thanks,
Sxxxxxx

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Yes... so what I am looking at is the new, blank one, I assume. Ok, thanks.

I will add arbitrary and obscure antiquated religious holiday dates to Jxxxxx and Nxxxxx. There is a Guru Gobind day on January 5th.

Just kidding.

Mxxxxx

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Calendars are for wussies.

-jxxxxxx

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Team,

Einstein, Hawking and many people more brilliant that I have concluded that information cannot travel faster than light. However, recent scientific publications (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/09/110923084425.htm) have raised questions about superluminal neutrinos breaking a fundamental law of physics stating that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light.

If it really is possible for subatomic particles to move faster than light then our fundamental understanding of time is critically flawed. Humanity's collective knowledge and understanding of reality is based on the concept that current events cannot be affected or influenced by future events. Even the philosophy of religion falls apart: cause and effect can be reversed, free will is nothing more than the present being influenced by future events and worse.

In the face of possible evidence contrary to accepted proofs that all of humanity is based upon, I am not sure if using ANY calenders would be the most prudent thing to do for our upcoming product launch. However, if it helps maintain a veneer of normality for the masses I will oblige the request. I will be working in the office until supporting evidence of superluminal neutrinos is proven, after which, I will be working remotely from my zombie bunker.

Cautiously your,
HackerCEO